"The world belongs to the energetic"

"The world belongs to the energetic." This guy, you may or may not have heard of him, Ralph Waldo Emerson is who stated that the world, apparently, belongs to the energetic. Hmm...Is it because they are the ones who have the energy to actually run the world? I don't think that's what he meant. I think that those who have positive energy to keep up a constant level of 'energeticness' (I think I might have invented a new word) realize they can draw upon different sources of energy through out the world. The realize they are in an interactive relationship from all aspects that are here in the world. The ones who find the good, positive, and energizing wells to draw from are the ones who understand the stuff that really counts in the world. That through adjusting their focus on the amazing and beautiful they are clearing their vision of what the world's potential is and work to get the world moving toward that potential. Where are these sources to draw from? I think instinctively we have ideas, feelings or intuition as to where to find them or at the very least we know what isn't a source of positive influence in our lives. The courage and the growth comes from leaving a source that will not give us the positive vision, possibly giving us a negative energy to our lives, and turning toward what will help us achieve the positive motion in living.

I can't say that trying to stay positive won't be full of actual bad stuff because life is full of all kinds of horrible things. But, letting the negative overshadow the positive actually stunts your ability to acknowledge to yourself the positive things around, in and can come from you. It's a choice to search for positive amongst the ridiculously moronic things that fly at us from every direction. It is a choice that is constant and a commitment. A choice that needs to be made consciously. We need to realize that no one is happy by accident it takes work. Being miserable is easy you just let the world happen to you. It takes energy to make that choice, but once you do you have a destination to work towards. People's circumstances are full of reasons to be negative and they are usually reasons that no one would blame them for being that way. It just amazes me and inspires me to find those who have had more than enough reasons to give up and chose not to. Those people who take their terrible life's circumstances and decide not only to survive, but thrive. These are the ones who inspire and spread their positive energetic selves to the world around them. They are people who see something a little clearer and try and tell us what they see hoping to bring us to where they are and are happy for us when we get there with them and cheer us on while going on ahead.

Thoughts in a head, words on a page, a spoken voice, or a look on my face can be my simple ripple in this world, but it will be my choice whether it will be a positive one.

What if...

I heard something the other day about how your inner energy attracts similar energy from the universe. Whether that energy is positive or negative it will attract that type of energy. What got me was the fact that when I feel like bad things are happening more bad things seem to pile on. I also had the insight that I tend to be a lot more aware of the negative things that go on in my life and less thankful or aware of the positive things that go on.
I decided to focus and acknowledge on the positive things that happen in and around my life. If I can and have been focusing on the positive things, I've been finding more things to be thankful for and more positive about. It is an amazing spiral that is the exact opposite of vicious.
I never thought of myself as negative, but the conscious effort to find the positive energy in my life has made getting up in the morning easier and going to sleep at night reflecting on the day more satisfying.
So, what's the 'what if...' What if this is contagious? What if I can spread the positive energy and they spread the energy to someone else, so on and so on. Would that save the world? Who knows, but it might be a better place to be.

Charlie and Construction Workers.

It all started with a geology trip I had to take down the Columbia Gorge. I needed someone to drive while I navigated and took pictures of the geological wonders along the Columbia Gorge. So, I asked my mom if she would go with me. She said she could, but we would have to take Charlie her very protective Dachshund.

We left Sunday night and drove to The Dalles and stayed in a pet friendly Comfort Inn. All night long, Charlie would give these low menacing growls every time he heard someone walking down the hall. Apparently, Charlie had appointed himself trip security.

By the morning time Charlie was so worked up about strangers just outside our door walking around he couldn't handle it anymore. When mom came back from grabbing some food from our free continental breakfast and I sleepily opened the door, Charlie made a break for the hallway to see these evil strangers and started barking his head off. Just down the hall was this huge construction worker with typical work boots, hammer and T-shirt walking, that's when Charlie went all 'German special forces assassin' on the guy. Charlie took off and was going to rip the guys head off (well, maybe his ankles). The funny thing was the construction worker saw Charlie running for him and he turned and ran too. Well, that just made Charlie more excited that he was actually scaring someone. What a sight, Construction worker running for his life, followed by a crazed dachshund, followed by a sleepy pajama lady yelling, "Charlie, Charlie." Finally, I yelled at the construction worker. "Stop running!" That was the answer, Charlie was deflated when he saw the guy stop. Charlie was no longer scary. He hung his head and turned around and let me carry him back to our room with me saying in a baby voice, "Charlie scared the big ole man away."

Oh, the laughs we had when I was explaining how big the construction worker's eyes got when he saw this little devil dog running for his ankles. I'm sorry but dachshunds look possessed when you can see part of the white of their eyes and their tiny teeth are being barred at you. It is scary. My uncle Dallas said he looks like he's going to bite him like a sewing machine up and down his leg.

The second encounter with a construction worker was at Eastern Oregon University. I took my niece and nephews to the school for a walk and it was getting hot. I told them to get a drink of water from the drinking fountain in the Hoke building while I waited outside with Charlie. These two construction workers came walking towards me and saw me with this little dog and made a joke, "I see you have your attack dog with you." I knew they were making fun of Charlie because he's so little so, I tried to set them straight by informing them, "Well, actually he's pretty vicious." They laughed and before I could stop them one of them bent down towards Charlie with this 'oh, what a cute little puppy' expression on his face when Charlie started acting like he wanted to eat off his face. The construction worker did a reflex startled jump backwards and said, "I thought you were joking. I guess you weren't." Nope, I wasn't joking.

Charlie is very protective of our family and honestly very sweet if he knows you. My dad hurt himself last summer and Charlie was so protective of him as dad laid on the ground that he wouldn't let any of the EMT's get close enough to help him. We had to grab this little tiny dog and throw him in the truck while the EMT's attended to helping dad, growling the entire time. I know I haven't told you any of the cute and sweet things this little dog does, but those just aren't as funny.

OK...Deep thoughts by Jack Handey.

I found this site and it brought back all those college, early ninety memories. Might not be appropriate though...

DeepThoughtsByJackHandey.com

My Words Came Back to Haunt ME!

OK. My life the last 3years has been basically filled with this little thing I like to call nursing school. It was hard and there were times I wanted to throw myself out the window. (Maybe that's why we never had windows in any of our class rooms.) But, I graduated. Yep, got my BS in Nursing. (haha...BS.)

As a graduate in the science of nursing, I can't practice without a license and so they invented this small test they call the NCLEX. (Insert dramatic scary music here) The entire 3years of studying, practicing and occasionally freaking out, rested on the fact that I pass this test. (Absolutely no pressure) Not to mention the fact that I have a job waiting for me when or if I pass this horrible test.

I even enrolled in a class to learn how to pass this test. The NCLEX is a random computerized test that gives you questions that it considers are easy to difficult. It will give you easy questions then if you get it right you get a harder one. If you get the question wrong the computer gives you an easy question. Then, after the computer decides that you will either pass or fail the test with a 95% assurance the computer terminates the test. But, the computer doesn't tell you if you passed or failed...IT JUST ENDS! That basically boils down to you can get the minimum of 75 questions OR the maximum of 265 questions (or any freakingly random number in between!).

I went into the test feeling I had done everything I possibly could to prepare for it. I was thinking positively and trying to keep my anxiety down to a minimum. I finished the test with 75 questions and felt like I knew most of what they were asking me. I felt like I had passed.

I took the test with 3 other students from my class and we all finished about the same time. I was confident I passed and was on the way to become a legal Registered Nurse (RN).

The next day my friend looked on the Oregon State Board of Nursing (OSBN) and her name came up with a RN license number. I put my name in and it came up as 'not found.' I put the names of everyone else who took the test at the same time and their name came up with a license number. Mine was not found...I concluded that I must have failed the test.

I was in shock. I was emotionally numb. The fun weekend celebrating with friends...cancelled. I had nothing to celebrate. I drove from Portland to the La Grande mountains to my dad's cabin, laid down on the cot, stared at the Coleman lamp, called my mom, told her I failed, and had a nervous breakdown. What was I going to do?

I tried to sleep. I'd start to sleep and I would startle myself awake unable to breath. Yeah, this was anxiety to the 10th degree. My mind played over all the questions I had on test and decided that I must have missed every single one. I was embarrassed, depressed and dumbfounded. Then, the weekend came and I went to the testing website to schedule another test, but it wouldn't let me. Then, I saw they had the results of my test in and the testing site said I had...PASSED!?

What the FREAK! I passed? If I passed how come I didn't have a license number? Was this some mean joke? What is going on? On Monday I called the OSBN and they told me that I had passed, but that my transcripts hadn't been sent to them. What the heck? All this misery I put myself through was the result of a paper glitch? Oh, I didn't really care anymore I knew that I passed.

Now, what does this have about my words haunting me? Well, let me tell you. After the NCLEX test, I was talking with a group of my classmates feeling pretty confident about passing the test, when one of the girls said that she had found out that morning that her uncle had committed suicide. She mentioned that she had to put that in the back of her mind until this was all over. That's when I said, "Well, I guess there are worse things than not passing the NCLEX, even though it probably won't feel like it." We all agreed and became philosophical and then continued to talk about the horrible test. That week end...I kept thinking about how IRONIC it was I had said that...ME, the one who didn't pass the test. How little did I know I was going to put those words to a very real and horrifyingly depressing weekend long test.

It was good that by Sunday night I had decided that, 'I'll just work harder and pass the next time,' and that I would survive even though I didn't really feel like I would. Even, though the weekend was horrible I found support from my family and friends that showed me how blessed I am. I had people I could confide in, complain to, and even cry on.

life...

In three words I can sum up all I've learned about life: It goes on. - Robert Frost.

If you are a glass 1/2 full...Awesome! If you're a 1/2 glass empty...Dang! If you think the water's not worth drinking...You are in big trouble.

I think each of us are on a pendelum swinging between each of those sentiments. Sometimes we spend more time in one than another. Then you have forces outside your control that try and shove you in one direction or another.

It seems that we notice the shoving to the 'bad' place, but don't acknowledge those forces that help us celebrate being in this life. Just like we notice when we succum to gravity by tripping. But, don't take a second thought about defying gravity everyday by walking one step at a time.

The Christmas Bunnies.

I was super bored and decided to make a video using some cool bendy bunnies Lori gave me this summer. I hope you enjoy it.

A Drive Thru Smile

A few weeks ago I had to go shopping for a tri-fold presentation board at a place called "The Craft Warehouse." Scary, huh? Let's just say that for me the idea of crafts usually involve second degree burns from skin scalding hot lava guns, or for those of you who can perform crafts without visits from the EMT they are usually called hot glue guns. Well, back to the story... I found my cool tri-fold cardboard display board and began seeing all kinds of adhesives that don't involve thermal dynamics and began to feel a little more confident in my craftiness. I began seeing all kinds of possibilities of creativity in the rows of stickers, stamps and fun shaped scissors. Honestly, why hadn't I been scrap booking for all these years! I know I could be the scrap booker of all scrap bookers. I would be on the Oprah Winfrey show and make Oprah go into the ugly cry because the beauty I could create with a hole punch and multiple colored brads.

Then, it hit me, I don't like doing stuff like that. I like taking a picture and storing it away in the cyber-world that is my computer. I don't do crafts. Oh, my goodness! They almost got me. That craft warehouse almost sucked me into the world of cute chronicling devices!

I bought my presentation board and walked out wondering what kind of creative commerically induced delusion did I just have? I started my car and drove out and then I noticed a Burger King. Oh, America the land of commericalism and spending money! Every where I go I could spend all the money I have for stuff I don't want and won't do me any good!

In the middle of my anti-capitalism tirade I found myself pulling up to that very comforting drive thru menu board wondering if I should order the regular Whopper meal, the Junior Whopper meal or screw it all and get the double Whopper and throw some bacon and cheese on there too!

In the middle of my fast food fiasco, I noticed that there were two head lights shining right at me. It took me a few seconds to figure out that I was in a drive thru and there shouldn't be any head lights shining AT me, I should only be seeing tail lights. Right? What is going on? Was I going the wrong way? Is it all ready 2012 and the world has gone crazy and about ready to end? WHY ARE THOSE HEAD LIGHTS COMING TOWARD ME?!! We never went over this in driver's education!

In the middle of a slight mind melt in my car, I notice that the passenger handing money to the drive thru lady. I then see two teenage boys laughing hysterically. Oh, the imagination of youth. They drove thru the drive thru backwards. I pulled up after ordering my Junior Whopper meal and a DIET Cola giggling at the two kids I was no staring at waiting to get my food. The driver smiled, laughed and waved. I feeling oddly happy waved back and laughed too. Their food came and they backed all the way out of the drive thru and on their way someplace else in the world. When I got my meal, all the employees at Burger King were laughing and smiling. I was laughing and smiling too. I got my meal and drove off to work on my presentation strangely and surprisingly happy. Here were two geeky boys deciding to do something simply dumb as driving backward through the Burger King drive thru and took something so mundane and typically American and tweaked it enough to make my day just a little brighter. I realized that creativity doesn't need to be in cutting paper and sticking them to a board or a scrap book. It doesn't have to take any materials at all because it can be as simple as looking at something ordinary just slightly enough to make it more enjoyable.

So, to those geeky boys somewhere in Kennewick Washington, thank you so much for a great giggle!

OK...We were bored!

If you have a lot of bored adults inside because it's freezing outside and you're stuck watching football for 12hrs, I think you get a little loopy. We found a random binki that someone left under a bed probably like, I don't know, three years ago. Then, for some reason we thought, "hmm. we have a cute dauchsund, Charlie, and some peanutbutter...I know let's put peanutbutter on the binki and make Charlie put it in his mouth and then take a picture!" All adults involved (Mom, Marie, and myself) decide what a great idea! Here you go world!

Remember that time...

I was recently at a local Mexican restaurant eating some Mexican food (big surprise) talking with some school friends and realized that I had a story for almost every bizzare conversation we had. I guess I've done a lot of really bizzare things and apparently I'm not afraid of sharing these things in conversations. I also realized that in almost every situation I had been recounting I had the choice of either remaining calm, over react, or make the situation more bizzare than it originally was. I have a great knack for doing the last two. Over reaction and adding bizzareness are my forte! If there is some random force that increases bizzare behavior in myself and others, I have decided to accept it, enjoy it and if I'm motivated about it I really should have some of these things made into movies!

During some periods of my life, it really does seems like I was living a quriky comedy. I've actually been in the middle of some bizzare moment and thought, "This would be a funny scene in a movie." For example: The time I called the police because someone left on my doorstep a hit man's killing kit, which actually turned out to be a gourmet bbq case. I nearly died of embarassement when the cop opened the case to show me a basting brush. Believe me there's more to that story and I really don't have the energy to write it down for you tonight.


Anyway, I have really been blessed with this odd magnetic force that follows me through life because I always have a story that can cause soda to fly out someone's nose.

Charlie the Chocolate Bunny

Charlie has this new trick. OK it's not that tricky, but I impress easily. When he walks on his back feet and is begging for food he'll get tired and just sit down on his butt. I thought this was really funny. Then, I realized he looked awfully close to a chocolate bunny. You be the judge...

Confessions of a Goob

OK, you know those stupid things you do that aren't bad or anything, but you'd probably feel totally embarassed if anyone knew about it. Well, this is one of them that I feel I'm ready to confess...

When Toy Story 2 came out...deep breath...I went by myself to Edward's theatre and sat by myself with a big drink and enjoyed every single minute of it. Wow! Now everyone knows how much of a goober I am.

And, just so you know I haven't grown out of that...I went to Harry Potter this summer all by myself and enjoyed it. This time, however, when I came out of the movie tearing up a little, I ran into two nursing students and totally tried to pretend there was something in my eyes.

After that experience I've decided to beat people to the punch and let everyone know I'm goob.

Uh...Brain Cloud.

Did anyone ever see that movie, "Joe Versus the Volcano?" It isn't one of the amazing cinematic jewels that Tom Hanks is usually known for. The weird thing about this movie for me is that I only saw it once and there are some really odd things that have stuck with me. First, I remember that Joe is diagnosed with something called a Brain Cloud (or was it Brain Fog) and he is convinced that he is going to die. Second, Joe buys this indestructible luggage trunks that survive all the adventures he ends up going on. The other thing that's strange for me is I remember that Joe meets this girl on his trip and I just realized it was Meg Ryan. So, before there was "Sleepless in Seattle" or "You've got Mail" we had Hanks-Ryan duo in "Joe Versus the Volcano." (weird huh?)

Anyway, the reason I'm even talking about this is the fact that there are days when, especially lately, that it feels my brain has a cloud blocking transmission. I think it has to do with overly anxious about school and realizing that time is going by regardless of me thinking its not. It was just a couple of days ago I was walking around Boise Idaho on new years eve 1999, dreading Y2K, with this drunk Russian named Ivan and my neighbor Bill. (Who couldn't stop talking about how he missed his fiance.) Now look it's almost 10 yrs later! (I wonder if Ivan ever felt at home in the Gem state?) I can laugh about how we were so paranoid the world was going to implode. I have to admit that I had my car all gases up, my 72 hr kit was packed and in the trunk, and I had $100 cash hid just in case. I also have to admit that January 1, 2000 was very anticlimactic...No computer I knew about even showed the slightest signs of freaking out!

It's now September 2009 and I wonder if I've changed much? I think of me at that time and wonder what I would think of that person way back then and what she'd think of me now... and that's when the brain cloud hits. It's probably a time-space continuum thing that prevents me from making any conclusions from that type of free verse thought.

This is usually the time I wish I could call someone and just talk random about life and where it takes you and where it doesn't. And this is probably where you all who might be reading this should be glad I don't.

So, where am I now...Oh, yeah, I've got one year left of nursing school, an overwhelming desire to put together a first aid kit that an EMT would be proud of to keep in my car, four bottles of aspirin to give to each of my four uncles in case of heart attack, a gallon bottle of water in my car in case I'm stranded, a sleeping bag as well, and apparently, from looking at this list, I am still in the, 'oh, my we're all going to die but, me' frame of mind from Y2K. I guess I haven't changed all that much...outta here and I'm taking my water filter with me!

Dosie turns 7!

Dosie Doe, my ever loyal Germador (German Shepherd + Labrador mix) turned 7 years old! Oh, the memories. The time she squeezed herself through a tiny cat door and ate 3 loaves of zucchini bread. The time she figured out how to open the garage window and walked a drunk girl home at three o'clock in the morning (That was an interesting phone call). The time she jumped up, placed her paws on Sandy Chandler's shoulders and stared her in the eyes because Sandy happened to be eating an ice cream cone! The time I decided to shave her because it would be cooler for her during the heat of summer...Even though Dosie can't talk she definitely let me know she was not pleased with my hair cutting skills (see picture).

Dosie is always happy to see me and always wags her tail when I get her. She loves people and all she needs to make her happy is a good scratch behind her ears or a ride in the back of the truck. She has laid down with me when I've been sick, protected me from freakishly random birds that fly at my head, stood guard by my aunt after she got knocked down, and would bark to let us know when the grand kids got too far away. She has even gotten used to Charlie the little wiener dog and lets him chew her ears to the point that they are soaking wet from the dog saliva...weird, but true.

Dosie takes a little longer to get over her mountain adventures than she used to but, her sweet gentle nature is still there even with the occasional limps and sore muscles.

One Day in Portland Oregon!

Well, I had a quick stop in Portland for just a few days and I only had my camera with me once and I got these pictures that just struck me as very Portland. The picture of the guy with the pink shoulder bag looked, talked and smelled slightly like a pirate. He stopped one of the people in our group and explained to us all the history of his tee shirt. Interestingly enough, I don't remember what Andy's shirt was because I kept looking for this pirate-ish guy's cutless to be pointed at us at any moment to spit at us in his pirate-ese, "Avast there me hearty. Ye, have no idea-r what ye have there. I know three sea dawgs that would make ye walk the plank fer wearing such a foul garb out here in the open. But, I won't tell a soul about yer mistake for a pint of rum." OK, if you know me you know my imagination runs away with me sometimes.

Then, I found this sign for gluten free pizza...I have no idea why I thought that was funny. I mean I really like pizza and if I had to eat pizza without gluten due to some kind of medical situation, I would really appreciate someone making pizza without the offending gluten!

After the pizza and before the pirate we walked into the pioneer courthouse square thing and there were all these sand sculptures. I was amazed that someone would have the patience and the desire to make a sculpture out of sand. (I mean you are in Portland and one good rain would wash away hours of work and I hear it rains in Portland.) Then, out of all the things in the world you are inspired to make a Sponge Bob Square Pants...beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Genius on itunes worked!

I thought I'd give itunes genius a chance and took a listen to a group they recommended to me...I found this group Rilo Kiley (tah dah)! I've enjoyed this alt/indie group a ton. If you like people like Ingrid Michealson, Regina Spektor or Meiko you'll love Rilo Kiley.

I also found at the college radio station I DJ at a group called Miniture Tigers and their album, "Tell it to the Volcano." Very entertaining... If you enjoy They might be Giants...check this group out too!
check it out at www.myspace.com/minituretigers

Sad Van Memories

The "Silver Bullet" or The "Tin Can on Wheels," is what they called it (my friends and siblings). I called it embarrassing to drive. However, you could seat a bunch of fellow high school students and run down to Dean's Deli, Dairy Queen, or Denny's with no space issues. On Sunday driving around Portland I saw one of these for sell and had a instant flood of memories (which probably made my eyes roll in the back of my head for a second).

I remembered how I totally hung out with a couple of friends all the time and during free periods we would hop in the van and go have wholesome-all-American fun. That was my junior year of high school and arguably the best year of my high school career. It was the first time in my school life that I had friends I would do all kinds of stuff with. Well, my senior year I didn't get to drive the van because my mom thought it would be a good idea to carpool with a family friend to and from school. I lost my cool factor. I was sad and weirdly embarrassed about it. But, the saddest part was when my two friends that were the highlight of my junior year stopped hanging out with me. It was the first real-life lesson I learned... People will use you for your stuff even though they pretend to like you... I grew up that day (I'm just kidding, I never grew up) and felt a little betrayed and it all rushed back on some random corner in Portland Oregon. I need to cut back on free energy drinks.

I am amazed with AGATHA CHRISTIE

I've been really reading Agatha Christie for many years --and though some people would call writing murder mysteries a bit low brow-- I am continually amazed at how she writes and am often caught off guard at how funny she really is. My favorite quote is from A Murder is Announced, "...I really like dogs with legs." If you read the entire monologue the entire thing is simply hillarious. These are super fast reads and entertaining. You can usually pick one up from a used bookstore or a garage sale...step away from the t.v and try reading one if you want.

The main benefit of reading her books, for me, is they inspire me to write more...not necessarily murder mysteries, but simply writing. Agatha's life is wonderfully interesting as well.

Charlie Finds a Peanut Butter Jar

Mom likes to give my dog, Dosie, empty jars of

peanut butter despite me telling her not to. This time her sweet, innocent, little Charlie got to it. I found this guy with his head stuck in the jar and instead of helping him get his head out, I ran upstairs and got my camera. Ha!

I was bored and had a remote control car...

Another moment in my life when studying Epidemiology just wasn't as fun as tormenting Charlie.